Relationship Forms, Sexual & Romantic Orientation
People live and experience relationships in very different ways. Some are in a relationship with one person, others love several people at the same time. For some, sexuality is central, for others it plays a lesser role or no role at all. Romantic feelings can also be experienced in very different ways. Romantic and sexual orientations are independent of a person's sex or gender and can exist and be lived out in all possible combinations.
This diversity is normal and important. Terms for different relationship types and orientations help us to better understand ourselves and others, and they show that there is no single “right” way to experience relationships and sexuality.
An important note:
Sexual and romantic orientations are very diverse and can change over time. In our overview, we focus on the most common terms. A much more comprehensive overview can be found in the Queer-Lexikon.
Basic terms
Relationship models
Relationships can take many different forms. People have various needs, desires, and ideas about what closeness, commitment, and intimacy look like. The following terms describe some of the ways people can experience their relationships.
Relationship model
Monogamy
Definition
Exclusive partnership with one person, both sexually and emotionally. This can be long-term or short-term.
Relationship model
Polyamory
Definition
Having several consensual, often romantic or sexual, relationships at the same time. Sometimes the relationships have different levels of priority -- for example, one may be the primary partnership.
Relationship model
Singlehood
Definition
Living without a committed relationship, voluntarily or involuntarily, permanently or temporarily.
Relationship model
Situationship
Definition
A casual, rather non-committal relationship that falls somewhere between friends with benefits and a committed relationship.
Relationship model
Open Relationship
Definition
Committed partnership with one person, but with the possibility of additional (mostly sexual) contact with other people. The rules governing how these other contacts are structured can vary greatly and are negotiated within the partnership.
Relationship model
Relationship Anarchy
Definition
No fixed rules or hierarchies between relationships; each connection is structured individually.
Relationship model
Friends with Benefits
Definition
A friendship combined with sexual intimacy, without the potential obligations that can come with a couple relationship.
Relationship model
Casual Dating
Definition
Individuals, who are typically single, meet up to spend time together or engage in sexual intimacy without the potential obligations that can come with a romantic relationship or other types of relationships.
Based on these different relationship models, the meanings of infidelity and cheating can also vary greatly. Learn more in this video:
Protection against STIs is especially important when you have multiple partners in non-monogamous relationships. Learn more in this video:
It is almost impossible to cover all types of relationships. The “Map of Non-Monogamy” provides a more detailed overview of different relationship models and gray areas:
Basic terms
Sexual orientation
Sexual orientation is defined by who a person is or isn't sexually attracted to. It is not about gender roles or specific sexual practices, but rather about attraction and desire. There are many different forms of sexual orientation, all of which are equally valid.
Sexual orientation
Heterosexuality
Definition
Sexual attraction to people of a different gender than their own
Sexual orientation
Bisexuality
Definition
Attraction to people of more than one gender
Sexual orientation
Pansexuality
Definition
Attraction to people regardless of their biological sex or gender identity
Sexual orientation
Homosexuality
Definition
Sexual attraction to people of the same gender as their own
Sexual orientation
Asexuality
Definition
Little to no sexual attraction to other people; does not automatically mean that relationships are not desired
For many non-heterosexual people, coming out can be a big step. Watch this video to find out what that means and learn more about it:
Basic terms
Romantic orientations
Romantic orientation describes who a person is emotionally or romantically attracted to. This orientation may or may not align with a person’s sexual orientation. Romantic attraction can also be experienced in many different ways, and all forms are valid.
Romantic orientation
Heteroromantic
Definition
Romantic feelings for people of the opposite gender
Romantic orientation
Panromantic
Definition
Romantic feelings regardless of the gender of the other person
Romantic orientation
Homoromantic
Definition
Romantic feelings for people of the same gender as their own
Romantic orientation
Aromantic
Definition
Little to no romantic attraction. Aromantic people can still experience friendships, sexuality, or other close bonds.